Well thanks for asking... kind of a loaded question really: I've had a long, tiring, stressful week. It started out last weekend with not being able to see Coty before he went back to work. He ended up spending time with his family, which of course I understand, but when that happens it doesn't make it suck any less. I also really wanted to see him since I won't get to now for about two months. Work is sending me to Russia (in February... I know) for six weeks and the way schedules fall and whatnot, that's the moral of the story. So any normal person gets disappointed by something like this, and I am definitely no exception. But the real question is how do I better deal with being disappointed? Because it obviously happens in all parts of everyone's life... all. the. time. (I'm not being cynical; that's just the reality of life) How do I learn to "roll with it"? I want to be able to not necessarily be unaffected by shitty things that happen, but to stop being so deeply affected that it just ends up making me an insufferable person resulting in me pushing everyone away. Is the answer being busier and more fulfilled in my life outside work? A friend of mine asked me a question the other day: am I putting so much effort into maintaining my long distance relationship (because that is what it is) that I haven't fully settled into my life in Houston? In a sense she was right; that isn't the only factor working against me, there's also my hating my job but putting my head down and sucking it up because I have to, deciding I wasn't going to like Houston before I even moved here because 1. it was a big city and 2. because it was literally driving a distance wedge into my relationship. As if we weren't already up against enough... But this is my reality; I'm here for a while. At least until I can find a job elsewhere. So how do I make the best of it? Having shopping as my only hobby is not helpful (one I don't even maintain that well anymore btw). My life used to be so full of variety and fulfilling and now it just feels kind of blah. I also had to sit and think: how do you even meet friends when you move to a new city? Through work? I tried that; I like a couple of them but most of them I don't. I don't feel I have much in common with them because save the couple of people I like, most of them are married or cynical about life because they are old and alone. So then I think about it: where did I meet all of my good friends? School (not going back to school)... Cadets (there are no Cadets down here or an equivalent really)... Work (exhausted that option already)... hmmm what to do? I'm making somewhat of a vow to myself: I'm going to do two new things once I come back here (besides working out :) ). I have yet to decide what they are but I think one will be a book club. I definitely always loved reading. I'll have it in the back of my mind while I'm over there and this is me making a promise to myself: I HAVE to do something and I will!
I got off on a wicked tangent and didn't even get to touch on the rest of the things I'm stressing over right now... until next time and I best be trying to
Be a Happy Panda :)
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