Reassessment

Well.. It's certainly been a long time since I wrote a post. I just spent some time searching and reading back through my old posts. The hardest thing to see and read was that I've felt like I feel now for so so long and it's completely unhealthy. I finally have a conversation this weekend that took a couple of days to sink in, but it's really made me reassess the way I need to approach things right now.

So I'm putting in writing a few goals. These aren't New Year's resolutions, per se, but more so "Erin you need to get your shit together or no one will want to be around you" goals:

• Quit reading into things. I even wrote a couple of posts on this before. Get it in your head girl! A man is straightforward. Words are words. Things aren't convoluted or a personal attack on you or some passive aggressive bullshit to get under your skin. There doesn't have to be an ulterior motive... just accept it.
• Stop stop STOP whining about work so much. Get done what you have to, let it go, detach yourself, don't internalize things, and most importantly do NOT take out your stress on the ones who love you
• Be happy. That's the freaking point of this blog isn't it? For me to get myself into a better mental space? Focus on the good things and not the negative so much. It's incredibly toxic both to your soul and relationships.
• De-stress. I've actually been doing a decent job with this lately, incorporating more yoga into my life (which I'm slowly progressing at which is a mini internal victory). I've also been making a real effort to replace my shopping distractions with constructive things like being a crafty old lady :)... that sounds weird. Rather, I am now doing some crafts and projects like an old lady.
• Appreciate the little things. This goes back to being happy again; this really has a lot to do with seeing Coty and us getting time together. Our situation is far from perfect and I have to stop getting down about not getting more time together and do what I can to get and appreciate the little bits we do get. It's incredibly important to my own mental health and the health of our relationship.

On another note, something exciting did happen since my last post: I applied for and interviewed for med school!! I did it. I took the plunge. I may be crazy but now that I went through with the whole process I'm feeling a whole lot better about the direction this could take. Let's just say I'm cautiously optimistic of the outcome (I get to find out this month eeeeee!!!). And I do have to say that I've gotten an amazing amount of support about it, especially from Coty. It might be the most selfless thing he's done for me. And I don't think he quite understands how much it means to me but it means the world to me to have that kind of support. So I hope it works out and my life starts moving in a happier direction!